this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
