Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Do vagina's smell?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
