I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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