Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
