i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
