whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize