I just made out with a guy for $7.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
