she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
