His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
