You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
