I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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