cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
