if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
