brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
