A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
