i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
