I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
