idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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