I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
it was like eating out sand paper
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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