party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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