Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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