You work out of a Hotel?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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