North Korea, Best Korea!
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
