i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
