you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
