He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
