she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize