so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize