So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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