wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
