1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize