you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
