Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
