Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
