I love black thongs
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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