Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
