just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
