Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
