That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
