Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
