On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize