Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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