Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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