so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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