CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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