I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
