Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
