He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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