if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize