Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
