My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
