But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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