I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
