My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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