k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
