This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
