That's intense
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
