sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
