omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize