Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
