Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
