I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
