K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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