I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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