I bet he comes in French.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
