Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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