i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Houston, we have a blender
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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